Man Up Barack Wear a Coat!

Inauguration day is here! So I have some advice for our newly elected president - keep it short and wear a coat! It's cold out if you haven't noticed and we kind of need you. The last guy did such a great job and we can't afford the country to go into a depression with Crazy Joe Biden at the helm. (But I guess it's a hell of a lot better than Sarah Palin at the helm).

If you don't know why I'm concerned about Barack wearing a coat, let's revisit history. William Henry Harrison, our 9th President, in 1841, delivered a 45 minute speech without a coat. He died 31 days after being inaugurated and was shortest term ever in US history..John Tyler took over but Joe Biden ain't no John Tyler.

While you are wearing your coat Mr. President-Elect, you should also pray for no rain. During Lincoln's inauguration, the weather was so bad that they advised those people that couldn't swim to stay away from the rainy and muddy streets of DC.

You should also consider hiring Mr. T and Hulk Hogan as security for your ball. Ulysses S. Grant had a riot at his ball when in 1869 guests waited so long in line for the coat check. The Washington Post reported that the coat check was staffed with illiterates that couldn't read the checks. So while you beef up security, stay away from hiring W's cabinet as the coat check team.'

Stay warm, healthy and be brief. We need you now more than ever. You have promised so much insight in solving the BCS and instituting a much needed college football playoff system. God we need you!!!!

Doughboy